October 22, 2004

Ketchup Is a Vegetable!


I Convinced Sarah That Ketchup
Is Actually Made from Sesame Seeds.

Ok, so I lied. We were at the supper table tonight, and Sarah was dumping a truckload of ketchup all over her food as usual. Sarah is the one who inexplicably hates sesame seeds with the white hot intensity of a thousand suns. Almost as much as she hates mustard. God forbid we get a burger order wrong.

Anyway, I'm always trying to get her to be less of a pig with the ketchup because too much of that is really bad for you, too much sugar. So I told her to look at the ingredients in my best bullshit science professor voice. "See right there? High fructose corn syrup. What do you think that is? Sesame seeds are the little seed-like things at the heart of every kernel of corn. They mash those up into a powder, then they mix in fructose, which is another name for sugar, until it is all syrupy. Then they crush raw tomatoes and mix it all up, and you've got ketchup!"

Sarah said (with a fearful expression), "You mean I'm eating sesame seeds?"

"Yup."

She actually stopped eating right there and left the table, she was so upset at the idea that a second helping of the food and ketchup she was eating had sesame seeds, she wouldn't eat. I tried half-heartedly to reason with her, and so did Michelle. Turns out she doesn't like tomatoes (raw) either, so we told her that's in ketchup, too, but she likes it. Well, that made it worse. Eventually, I guess her stomach won out and she ate, but now all the kids think ketchup is made from sesame seeds and I'm a filthy liar.

I guess now I know what it feels like to be a Republican.

Posted by Observer at October 22, 2004 07:04 PM
Comments

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At least you didn't tell her that ketchup counts as one of her vegetables for the day.

Posted by: Shamhat on October 23, 2004 05:40 AM

I guess you were channeling Calvin's Dad from Calvin and Hobbes.

Man I hope my kids don't become picky eaters.

Posted by: Humbaba on October 23, 2004 10:26 AM