Carpe Datum

Alternative Lifestyles

Yesterday morning was the boys' first day at alternative school. A brief refresher on the history: At the start of the summer, J*stin (14) and C*dy (9) went down the street to the elementary school (with attached park) as usual for an evening of fun playing basketball or what have you. Instead, they broke $4k worth of windows at the school. We still don't understand why. We paid restitution to the school immediately (yes, it hurt ... a lot). The windows were fixed, and the police did not file charges (nor did the school).

We have been punishing the two boys in stages during the summer, and we've described that in detail in my wife's blog. We got notice two weeks ago that the boys were going to be required by law to attend alternative school for some minimum length of time (C*dy 3 weeks, J*stin 6 weeks), and we pretty much had no way to fight it. So they got themselves dressed up in their prison outfits (white t-shirts and blue jeans), and I took them down there. Very depressing drive for me, passing by both of their schools, both humming with first-day activity. I'm not sure how much it affected either of the two boys, but probably C*dy more.

Poor C*dy is the only kid in his class (they separate the kids roughly by age groups, and there are only about 12-15 students I saw go in even though we were told initially there are 30 students supposed to be there). I picked him up after school (10 minutes there, 10 minutes back, twice a day + 20 minute wait between C*dy's let-out time and Justin's means I just lost an hour of my life per day that this school goes on), and he told me it was great. He has basically *two* teachers in charge of him because he's the only student, so they helped him, and he worked hard to finish everything.

I told him not to get too attached to this school. This isn't the kind of place he belongs. But C*dy really laps it up. He's used to being one of the troublemakers in class, the class clown, and so compared to the other students, he is usually the one getting lectured or the phone call home or what have you. Here, though, C*dy is an absolute shining gem compared to most of the kids who have come through. His teacher came out to tell me that C*dy is amazingly obedient and attentive and had a perfect day and will surely stay only the minimum length of time. C*dy's just not used to getting that kind of positive praise from his teachers (hard to blame them, though, since I don't know everything that goes on in the classroom).

But of course, as the 3 weeks wears on, I fear C*dy will eventually get a little bit rebellious and that may make for some setbacks. He was good at the beginning of his summer punishment as well, but there were some battles after the first week. For now, though, C*dy looks like he will be lapping up the praise and the individualized attention (he commented that with no one talking or laughing and trying to get him to join in, he worked very quickly and had no distractions ... no homework, either).

J*stin kind of had the same reaction, though he is with 4-5 other kids, so the rules are being enforced a little more rigorously. He didn't get in trouble or anything, but the atmosphere for the older kids is decidedly different (they don't really account for the fact that Justin's maturity level is about the same as C*dy's, of course). J*stin got the work done quickly ... no homework. I think he'll soon miss the track team and the socialization of middle school, but I could be wrong. He may prefer the structure at the alternative school, even though he critically needs socializing with peers his own age (instead of his brother).

I told them both that even though they may like this place for now, they had damn well better not stay here a single day longer than the minimum or there will be serious consequences at home. So in a way, I hope it gets worse. I don't want this to be a place that they don't mind coming back to. I want them to fear this place and hate it. At the same time, I think Michelle and I have already punished the kids pretty well this summer, and I'm not convinced they need to go through more hell from the school district (but we had no choice).

Oh well, 1 day down for C*dy, 14 to go. 29 to go for J*stin. Before they leave the school, the principal has told them they'll both need to write a letter explaining why they broke the windows. I reminded them of that today, and I told them it would be nice if they would bother to write their parents one as well if they ever do decide to come up with an explanation for why they did this. Not that it would satisfy us or anything. It's just ... grrr. I hate this whole thing, top to bottom.

On the bright side, C*dy finally beat me at Yu-Gi-Oh last night, making my overall record vs the kids approximately 35-2. Justin won a week ago, but only because I screwed up and misplayed a card, which I subsequently trashed instead of the usual "undo". C*dy's win tonight was a lot more legit. But the kids don't know that. I'm planning to help S*rah strengthen her deck a bit tomorrow with some carefully chosen cards from my unused pile, and she should win sooner or later with that help.

The kids are all getting used to calling me "dad" now (thanks to the bet ... if they lose, they have to call me "dad" and if they win, they get some number of new cards from the new card box), which is great but also still a little unnerving at times. They seem to like it. I told S*rah's teacher this morning that I was "S*rah's Dad", half expecting S*rah to correct me with "*step*dad", but instead she just stood there and smiled. That was nice.

Posted by Observer at August 20, 2003 07:57 AM